


Five times Johnny crashed Peter's first date

by Naomida



Category: Fantastic Four, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, First Dates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naomida/pseuds/Naomida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny totally crashes Peter's first dates because it's hilarious -- it has nothing to do with feelings like jealousy or love or anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times Johnny crashed Peter's first date

1.

It all started as a way to annoy Peter ( _because let's be honest one second, annoying Peter was New York's official sport_ ). Cindy was cute, and Peter looked kind of interested, so of course Johnny crashed their first date just because he could and the look on Peter's face was hilarious.

“What the fuck Johnny?!” was of course Peter's first word once Cindy was being driven home by a cab. “Why did you do that?”

Johnny shrugged – he knew Peter was not going to find his reason acceptable so really, not talking was not going to change anything.

Apparently, the shrug wasn't the right thing to do though, because Peter squinted at him and, huffing, left the café they had been at and refused to talk to him for the three following day.

 

 

 

 

2.

It took four months for Peter to get another date with another girl and, honestly, Johnny was very proud when he heard about it only three hours before said date. If Peter had tried to hide it from him, it meant that he was expecting Johnny to crash the date – and he so was.

He didn't know the girl. She was, according to Reed who was literally spilling everything, in Peter's book club ( _and when had Peter even joined a book club?_ ), her name was Liz and they were going to watch a movie.

Johnny internally cackled the whole way to the cinema and the fifteen dollars he paid for an obscure Swedish movie was totally worth it when he entered the almost empty dimly light auditorium and immediately spotted Peter and Liz, the only people sitting there.

“Hey, Peter, what are you doing here?!” called Johnny, smiling brightly as he jogged up the stairs to join them.

Peter looked murderous.

“Hi,” continued Johnny, not paying any attention to him and turning to the blonde girl, “I'm Johnny, Peter's roommate.”

Liz shook his hand and told him her name and that it was nice meeting him and, without waiting for any more prompting, Johnny flopped down on the seat next to Liz', pretending that he couldn't see Peter dragging his index against his throat in the universal sign of “I'm going to fucking kill you”.

By the time Johnny and Peter got home after the date, Liz' phone number was saved into Johnny's phone with a promise of seeing him again and Peter wasn't talking to him.

 

 

 

 

3.

Johnny started running the moment he heard Peter was on a date with Mary Jane.

It wasn't like he didn't like Mary Jane. Quite the contrary, in fact, but he knew how Peter felt about her and there was no way in hell he was letting them get together. No fucking way.

( _And Johnny preferred not to think too much about why he didn't want Peter to date her. Denial was great, thank you very much._ )

So of course, while Johnny was running all over New York's street, trying not to think about Peter kissing MJ, or marrying her and having kids with her, he didn't pay attention to what was going on around him – and that's how he got hit from behind by an asshole.

The good news was that the paramedics _did_ call Peter when Johnny asked them to so his mission was accomplished, date crashed.

The bad news was that now Peter was sitting next to him in the emergency room, making fun of him.

“You got hit by a fucking bicycle and dislocated your shoulder.” he said for the tenth time, not doing a great job of repressing his manic laughing. “A _bicycle_!”

“It was a scooter.” pouted Johnny, cheeks turning red.

“Oh no, not according to the people who saw everything. And the guy who was riding the bicycle. Jesus, Johnny… a _bicycle_!”

And maybe it was humiliating because bicycles were ridiculous; but having Peter laugh and giggle so much that he was crying with him made the pain in his shoulder more bearable – and it was so much better than knowing that Peter was on a date with a girl.

 

 

 

 

4.

Peter's date with Felicia was at a club, of all the places in New York, on a Thursday night, and if Johnny hadn't known Peter so well, he would have thought that he had done it on purpose.

It was the easiest date he had to crash so far, even if Felicia wasn't exactly the easiest girl to hang out with. She hated Johnny's guts with a fierce passion but for once Peter seemed more amused than ready to kill Johnny ( _it probably had to do with the alcohol he had been drinking but Johnny wasn't going to complain_ ).

Problems came after Johnny had dragged Peter's drunk ass back to their flat and Ben was waiting for them on the couch, pretending to watch TV.

“You know you could ask him out instead of crashing all of his dates, right?” he asked after Johnny had put Peter to bed and came back into the living room.

“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.” replied Johnny.

“Right… just don't be surprised the day he finally manages to get a girlfriend despite your best efforts.”

Johnny pretended that he hadn't heard that and went to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him – and if he spent the next few hours turning in his bed and thinking about Peter having a girlfriend, chest feeling tight, this was his problem, not Ben's.

 

 

 

 

5.

Johnny walked into the art gallery feeling good. Today was a good day, he was wearing his favorite pair of jeans and on his way to crash another date Peter had with one of his classmate, a girl named Gwen. He had internet stalked her on his way to the gallery to find what she was interested in: nerd stuff, just like Peter, so it was going to be easy for him to talk to her. Seriously, Johnny was really feeling it.

At least until he caught sight of them.

Peter and Gwen were standing close to each other, in front of a giant painting, talking in a hushed tone, smiling at each other, their eyes soft and ( _oh crap_ ) loving.

Johnny stopped dead in his track, gaping at them from the other side of the room,

Gwen giggled at something Peter said and there was no mistaking the way his lips curled as he looked down at her mouth. It was so sweet, it made Johnny gag – or maybe he gagged because of the lump in his stomach, he wasn't sure. The only thing he knew for sure was that Ben had been right, Peter had find the girl that was going to be his girlfriend, and Johnny had no business interrupting it.

It was his own fault for not trying harder to flirt with Peter, he told himself as he turned around, walked out of the gallery and took the bus to go back home. Maybe if he had been straightforward, Peter would have wanted him. Maybe if he hadn't let himself hope, he wouldn't be feeling this shitty.

 

Gosh, he was such an idiot.

 

 

 

 

 

(Johnny was slouched on the couch, pretending to scroll through his instagram feed when Peter came back home, not looking as happy as the blond had expected, and plopped down next to him.

“Hey.” he said, sounding unsure.

“Hey, what's up?” asked Johnny, as casually as he could, not taking his eyes away from his phone.

“I was on a date.”

“Oh. Good.”

He probably didn't sound half as happy for Peter as he should have but he was already on the verge of blasting stupid emo songs and drown himself into ice cream so really, this unconvinced tone was the best he could do.

“Yeah.” said Peter, as if he hadn't heard him, shuffling on the couch's cushion for a second. “I uh… It's just… I… you didn't come.” he stuttered.

“Nah.” replied Johnny, still not looking at him, doing his best to keep a poker face. “Ben said you were growing desperate so I thought I'd finally let you hang out with a girl.”

“Oh...” sighed Peter, almost sounding disappointed.

They sat in awkward silence for about half a minute before Peter muttered something and quickly got up to join his bedroom.

Johnny tried to tell himself that he wasn't feeling like his heart had been ripped out as he closed instagram and opened grindr.)


End file.
